Vajna' qagh (Real Warrior's Gagh)
Mark A. Mandel
(Dragon Systems, Inc.)
Story behind this recipe
Gagh (Klingon qagh) is defined as "serpent worm, used as food". The traditional recipe, in which the worms are poisoned and eaten in the sauce while still alive, can be found in Star Trek: Klingon for the Galactic Traveler (Marc Okrand, 1997, Pocket Books). Here is an alternative using only ingredients available on Earth.
At the third qep'a' (convention) of the Klingon Language Institute, the Director, Dr. Lawrence Schoen, brought Gummi Worms in Hershey's Syrup. While this was satisfactory in appearance and messiness, I found the flavor cloying.
The next year I brought this preparation. On tasting it, some turned bright red and ran to wash out their mouths; others grinned like warriors and took more.
Fresh ginger root
Unsweetened cocoa powder (I use Hershey's Cocoa)
Dihydrogen monoxide (tap water will do)
Mix equal volumes of cocoa and DHMO to make a thick sauce (ghevI'). Best way to do this: Measure the powder into the container in which you intend to serve the gagh. Measure the DHMO, but add it to the powder a few drops at a time, stirring and mashing with a fork until each addition is absorbed.
Peel the ginger root and slice it thin (about 1/8 inch, 2-3 mm) and lengthwise to get the longest slices possible. Cut each slice lengthwise into narrow strips (about 1/4 inch, 5-6 mm) and immerse them in the sauce.
Serve immediately if possible; if not, keep cold till serving. Like revenge, vajna' qagh is best served cold.